Welcome aboard, Mr. Eaton.  It is nice to see that after a decade of futility, the Philadelphia Phillies have rewarded you with a three year, 24.5 million dollar contract.  Let us break this contract down by the great numbes you have posted over the years.

A first-round pick by the Phillies in 1996, Eaton is 54-45 with a 4.40 ERA in seven major league seasons.   So, this means that the Phillies are willing to pay almost half a million dollars for every career victory you have had.  Mind numbing.  Makes me want to cry.  But, it gets worse.  Last season(cut short due to injury number 5), Eaton was 7-4.  So, that would mean Philadelphia is willing to pay you a million dollars for every win.  Your best season was years ago when you went 11-5.  If you magically duplicate this, then the Phillies will feel like they got a deal.  Once again, I feel like I have been cheated by my sports team.