I heard this while on vacation.  Salary cap laughed and thought everyone might want to hear this…

A second grade teacher gave an assignment to her class to write a story with a moral for homework. The assignment was due the next day.

So, little Billy thought and thought at home and came up with a great story.

The next day, the teacher asked Jill what story she wrote. Jill said she had some eggs under a heat lamp and thought she would get 12 chicks, but instead only 8 hatched. The teacher asked about the moral and Jill said “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”

Very good said the teacher.

Then, the teacher saw little Susie’s hand up and asked her what story did she have. Susie said her Daddy placed all the eggs in a basket on the way to market. The cart tipped over and the eggs all broke on the road. The teacher asked Susie what was the moral of the story and Susie replied “Don’t place all your eggs in one basket.”

Good job said the teacher.

Finally the teacher asked Billy who was out of his chair with excitement about his story.

Billy said my Uncle Buck is an army pilot. He got shot down in Iraq. Before he bailed he only had a m-16 knife and a bottle of Jack Daniels. So, Uncle Buck drank the bottle of Jack, grabbed the gun and knife and parachuted out. On the way down, 100 Iraq insurgents were waiting for him. Uncle Buck took out his weapon and started shooting. By the time Uncle Buck hit the ground, he had killed 70…now he was out of bullets.

He picked up the knife and killed 20 more before the blade snapped. The last ten he killed by snapping their necks.

The teacher looked horrified and shocked while Billy was beaming with pride. The teacher asks Billy what was the moral of the story.

Billy looked at her and said “You don’t fuck with Uncle Buck when he is drunk!”